Current research shows that some of the most commonly used and seemingly positive phrases we use with kids are actually quite destructive.
Current research shows that some of the most commonly used and seemingly positive phrases we use with kids are actually quite destructive.
When my wife and I became first-time parents recently, we made a decision to split up child-rearing responsibilities throughout the week.
What exactly is a strong-willed child? Some parents call them "difficult" or “stubborn,” or more positively, "spirited." But we could also see strong-willed kids as people of integrity who aren’t easily swayed from their own viewpoints. Strong-willed kids are spirited and courageous.
I bet you've come across the term "positive reinforcement" before–but honestly, do you know what it really means? Some time back, I decided to jump onto the positive reinforcement bandwagon. Except, it wasn't really clear to me what it is I should be doing.
What’s your parenting style? Are you an attachment parent, free-range parent, a gender-neutral parent, or a tiger parent? The answer says a lot about the expecting adult but very little about how that baby is going to fare. At the core, it doesn’t really matter how you parent your baby.
Parents: It’s time to reclaim our roles, and confidence, as the arbiters of what’s important to us when it comes to our kids’ educations. If you’re like many parents, sometime in the last month or so you gave up the better part of a weekday evening to attend back-to-school night.
When Amy and Steve Unruh decided to adopt a four-year-old child from the Philippines, they anticipated challenges. They understood it would take time, as well as a great deal of love and care, for their family and its newest member to adjust. But they were committed to helping a child in need.
How do children learn social and emotional intelligence skills? Practice, practice, practice. Parents have to explain, model, and repeat themselves, over and over. It can seem endless.
Earlier this year, I wrote about teaching empathy, and whether you are a parent who does so. The idea behind it is from Richard Weissbourd, a Harvard psychologist with the graduate school of education, who runs the Making Caring Common project, aimed to help teach kids to be kind.
“I will not cut my hair. Never. The answer is never, Mom, and the answer will always be never, so you should just stop asking me.” He said it without attitude, in a matter-of-fact way, as though he were simply reporting on the weather or time of day.
What parent doesn't want their child to do well in school, stay out of trouble, and grow up to be a highly successful adult? But as I've found over the years raising my own daughter, that's far easier said than done.
In a piece in The Conversation, Bernadette Saunders described positive discipline. Parents who practise positive discipline or gentle parenting use neither rewards nor punishments to encourage their children to behave.
Back when I was six years old, the neighborhood I lived in provided the perfect backdrop for an active and idyllic childhood. Half a dozen other boys about my age lived on the same street I did and we quickly banded together to form a little neighborhood gang.
I am the father of two boys, Griffin (14) and Huck (12). They are awesome: bright, curious, funny, and kindhearted. Like any parent, I would love to believe that my awesome kids are a result of my awesome parenting. Sadly, expert opinion indicates it ain't so. Genes have an enormous influence.
Julie Lythcott-Haims noticed a disturbing trend during her decade as a dean of freshmen at Stanford University. Incoming students were brilliant and accomplished and virtually flawless, on paper. But with each year, more of them seemed incapable of taking care of themselves.
Ask parents how important it is to instill kindness in their kids, and most will rank it high: even as their very top priority, according to Harvard researchers.
Below you'll find a nifty infographic produced by the folks at Yellowbrick detailing the consequences of everyone's favorite irritating childrearing trend: helicopter parenting.
It might be difficult for some parents to read through, but here’s a top ten list that I’ve been wanting to write for a while. Over the next several days I’ll be expanding on each of these in succession, but for now, here is my top ten mistakes Christian parents of teens make: 10.
ALONG with its Nordic neighbours, Sweden features near the top of most gender-equality rankings. The World Economic Forum rates it as having one of the narrowest gender gaps in the world. But Sweden is not only a good place to be a woman: it also appears to be an idyll for new dads.
New parenthood is a desperate search for certainty: When you start knowing nothing, you are desperate to know something. And when you finally figure that something out—how to get this creature to eat or sleep—that becomes the answer.
About 25 years ago, when the era of irrational exuberance allowed enough disposable income for irrational anxiety, the concept of “helicopter parenting” arose. A “helicopter parent” micromanages every aspect of his child’s routine and behavior.
I know many people want to stay current with the latest parenting trends -- attachment parenting, minimalist parenting, Tiger Mother parenting, et al. Well, I've stumbled upon a new technique that will guarantee your child grows up to be an exemplary student and citizen.
“Initially, helicopter parenting appears to work,” says Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult. “As a kid, you're kept safe, you're given direction, and you might get a better grade because the parent is arguing with the teacher.
X marks the spot! This Dad devised a genius plan that could save your teen from a dangerous situation. As a parent, we never stop worrying about our children. The day they’re born we count all 10 fingers and all 10 toes, and then we count them over again.
What if every time your child cries or tantrums, they are actually doing something highly worthwhile? We don't always appreciate it when our children begin to cry, but what they are actually doing is making use of the body's innate recovery system.
BEAUTY opens many doors. Study after study has concluded that the comely earn more, are better liked, are treated more indulgently and are even given more lenient sentences in court than their plainer counterparts. The door it opens widest, though, is the romantic one.
If permission to stop parenting sounds like the solution to surviving the rest of the summer holidays, then Alison Gopnik is your saviour. The US psychology professor and grandmother of three thinks too much “parenting” risks ruining your relationship with your children.
Just a few days ago, I saw a three-year-old wandering around at 10:30 at night and wondered if he was lost or jet-lagged. The parent came over and explained that they believed in children setting their own sleep schedule. The problem with this approach is that it may work, or it may not.
Before we commence with the festivities, I wanted to thank everyone for helping my first book become a Wall Street Journal bestseller. To check it out, click here. Every parent asks it at some point: What is going on in my kid’s brain?
Overparenting is widely recognized as a problematic approach to raising kids. For nearly a decade, studies have shown how the rise of the "helicopter parent" has been worsening children's anxiety and school performance in the K-12 years.
Mocking obsessive parents is fun. But their excesses are small compared to the parenting failures in so many homes. Mocking obsessive parents is fun. But their excesses are small compared to the parenting failures in so many homes.
Raising kids in today's world is no easy task. From warnings about too much screen time and too many food additives, to the pressure to help your child succeed in school and on the sports field, parenting has become more challenging than ever.
In many countries, children have the very freedoms that American parents can grant only by chafing against law or custom, our international readers say.
It is there in the quick steps of a woman hurrying up the street in Brooklyn, muttering to herself, “I’m a good parent, I’m a good parent.” She was regretting letting her son run home alone from a restaurant and was rushing to catch up with him.
Did the safety-conscious, academic achievement-focused, self-esteem-promoting, checklisted childhood that has been commonplace since the mid-1980s and in many communities has become the norm, rob kids of the chance to develop into healthy adults? What will become of young adults who look accomplish
My five-year-old is extravagantly furious at being thwarted. I have infringed her human rights by mildly suggesting that she turn off the television and put some clothes on. To which I reply, swift as Lady Macbeth’s dagger, “I never was your friend in the first place, darling.
Throughout this year we’ve been running a series on how to father with intentionality and create a positive family culture. Whenever we’ve written on this topic, we invariably get comments from some men who have decided to opt out of the marriage and kids route altogether.
‘I think my child has been breastfed by another woman,” my friend Jennifer announces out of the blue in the middle of our kids’ play-date. Even for California, where we live, this is mind-bogglingly weird. For a start, Jennifer’s daughter Alice is two and a half.
Raising children is a lot of work, so who can blame parents that look for tips and tricks to make it all a little easier? Sadly, not all life hacks are as useful as they seem. Here’s what happens when 25 of the most popular parenting hacks are attempted.
Today’s parents are empirically less likely to allow kids to explore their neighborhood alone, walk to school, play by themselves, and handle potentially dangerous tools or weapons, and more likely to closely supervise all of their children’s activities, than parents even one generation ago.
Before I had kids, I thought I knew everything there was to know about them. I did, after all, graduate from college with a degree in Family Science. During those college years, my life was filled with classes about human development, parenting, psychology, family dynamics, and marriage.
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world. There are so many things that can affect a child's success, including socioeconomic status, the environment they live in, and their parents' education level.
When Phil Graves, a father of three young girls, worked for Deloitte, his days looked a lot like those of many working professionals. He left before the kids were up to commute to work in San Francisco.
There are two great defining features of child-rearing today. First, children are now praised to an unprecedented degree. As Dorothy Parker once joked, American children aren’t raised; they are incited. They are given food, shelter and applause. That’s a thousand times more true today.
Treating an adult like a child, or infantilization, creates a cycle of dependence in which the adult constantly needs to be told what to do and how to do it.
Our politicians talk a lot about “families”, but what do they really mean when they use this term? What does a modern Australian family look like and how does it compare with ten, 20 or even 30 years ago?
Not long after my first son was born, someone came up to me and said something that changed my perspective on parenting. “Enjoy every moment. The days are long but the years are short.” At the time, I was low on sleep and high on stress, and this wasn’t the time for one-liners.
Imagine that you’ve been invited to the birthday party of a distant cousin you haven’t seen in over a decade. You know her age, gender and what she does for a living, but not much more than that. With this information, how will you go about buying the perfect birthday present for her?
Today’s parents are perpetually urged to monitor their children’s feelings, focus on the child and essentially make their children their entire focus. There’s a downside to this, argues Harvard psychologist Richard Weissbourd.
Most moms and dads will tell you: parenthood is an ongoing learning experience. But it doesn't hurt to be as prepared for it as possible. Kids are adorable, but they're also expensive. Data shows that the average middle-income family will spend over $165,000 raising a child.
A backlash to overprotective parenting is answered with hammers and saws on an adventure playground — one element of the "free-range parenting" movement.
But the "rules are bad" trope is, unfortunately, a trend in The Netherlands. Parents that live by this rule are sacrificing themselves. It's bad parenting. I see a lot of parents (mothers mostly) in public places desperately trying to explain their dissatisfaction to their misbehaving children.
It happened yet again. As I was sitting at the table for dinner with my children, I noticed my daughter's hand fishing around under her skirt. "We don't play with our vulvas at the table. Go wash your hands and finish your food," I scolded.
Styles are hard to get right on Android. There's a lot of potential for frustration. The hierarchy easily devolves into spaghetti code. How often have you wanted to change a style but feared you might break something unintentionally by doing so?
Do you believe that two people can be made to fall in love with each other – any two people in this world? Arthur Aron, a psychology professor started a study on whether two people could decide to fall in love with each other.
Five months after Todd Bedrick’s daughter was born, he took some time off from his job as an accountant. The company he works for, Ernst & Young, offered paid paternity leave, and he decided to take six weeks — the maximum amount — when his wife, Sarah, went back to teaching.
Harvey Karp, the pediatrician, parenting expert and inventor-slash-entrepreneur, cuts an unimposing figure. Lean and agile, with wispy dark hair, blue-rimmed glasses and a bounce in his step, Karp hugs like the Angeleno he has become and deadpans like the New Yorker he once was.
When it comes to the ups and downs of parenting, sometimes you just have to laugh. That's why greeting card artist and dad of two Brian Gordon created Fowl Language Comics, a funny, sweet and often expletive-filled look at parenting.
When I became a mom, I got lots of advice on how to love my child. But not until a few years ago did someone actually point out that loving a child means wanting what's best for them long-term. When my four daughters were young, long-term didn't resonate with me.
While it is true that there is no single definition or correct method of raising children, a few parenting tips could go a long way in ensuring the happiness of your child. Let’s take a look at 10 good parenting tips that Sadhguru has for us on raising kids.
What does it take to be a good parent? We know some of the tricks for teaching kids to become high achievers. For example, research suggests that when parents praise effort rather than ability, children develop a stronger work ethic and become more motivated.
Looking for advice on parenting but don’t want to wade through reams of studies? A new book offers help. In “What Great Parents Do: 75 Simple Strategies for Raising Kids Who Thrive,” Erica Reischer offers practical tips in an easy-to-read format.
When I was in graduate school in the United States in the early 1980s, a member of our women’s support group informed us that she was pregnant. Although she was single and not in a serious relationship, she told us she intended to have the baby and raise it herself.
Being a parent is an experience as old as the human race. Being a parent in a plugged-in world of intensifying work-life pressures, increasing economic and political uncertainty, and endless "mommy wars"? That's a whole different story.
I am about to tell you something that may shock you. Are you ready? Are you sitting down? Okay. Now let me be clear, it's not that I don't want children right now. It's not that I don't want children until after I'm married, or after I've paid off my student loan debt, or after I've bought a house.
“Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better?” - Jane Nelsen
I cherish the notes I receive from my children -- whether they are scribbled with a Sharpie on a yellow sticky note or written in perfect penmanship on lined paper. But the Mother's Day poem I received last spring from my first-born daughter left a profound impact.
Helicopter parents, stop hovering: it’s officially not good for your kids — especially if they’re already grown. A new study in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that being overly involved in your grownup kids’ lives can do more harm than good.
Russian intercontinental ballistic missiles are believed to carry a total of approximately 1,000 strategic nuclear warheads that can hit the US less than 30 minutes after being launched.
When Paul Raeburn became a father for the first time, he had one piece of advice to go on. "The most important things to do," a colleague told him, are "to tell your kids you love them and to spend time with them.
Every parent asks it at some point: What is going on in my kid's brain? And if you don't understand kids it can be hard to give them what they need to thrive. Lately the trend has been helicopter parenting and trying to get them ready as soon as possible for an increasingly competitive world.
In the last installment of this series on the causes and effects of the modern trend towards overprotective parenting, we explored the evidence behind the biggest reason parents give for adopting this approach and abandoning the more “free range” method they were reared with themselves: that
In a family home in picture-pretty Oxfordshire, four women and seven toddlers are, respectively, drinking tea and causing chaos. The children, aged between 13 months and four years, are doing what children of those ages do: quarrelling over toys and bellowing for their mothers.